A Letter to my Younger Self - Sam
Dear me,Hi, you are scared. It’s scary. Heart operations are scary, but this one is a breeze because you are so much braver than I ever was, and you inspired me to be brave and tenacious in what will be our second heart surgery plus some other medical issues that will follow.
Now that you know, remember you are loved and supported so much in the future. Your battle will be more than difficult. There will be times when you cannot control how you react to your emotions, your limitations, the changes in life. There will even be a few times that you will think that you do not want to live anymore and will attempt to end a pain that would only be passed on to the ones that loved us the most. You will realize that actually what you wanted was to end the pain and mental torture that the disease brought, for everyone, not just yourself. You will realize that the only way that you can move on, is by moving differently. Thinking outward. Speaking to the right people. Learning more about anything. Realizing that there is life after disability.
Knowing now that you have a challenge ahead of you, that is bigger than a daft heart op. You will know that you are braver and stronger than you ever thought you could be at 10 years old, but also that when the next challenge comes round, you will know deep down that you are more than capable of accepting whatever life throws in your direction and will still achieve what you want, what we want.
I want you to know you fall in love, madly in love. Like the type of loves you think are strictly on Rom-coms. I promise you, the man who makes you his forever, he will stand by everything and anything with you. He will be the rock you never knew you needed or wanted. He will be your opposite in the making, he’s smart and humble (and crabbit), but he does have to deal with us!! He’s also kind, warm and handsome - so you done well. Just a head’s up his name is Jonny. So maybe skip the first few frogs, all they do is give you learning experiences.
Your parents love you, your sister and her family are amazing, AJ becomes the most truest version of herself and there is so many more people that we love that have accomplished so much, but I’ll leave that as a surprise. I won’t mention the ones we love, but tell everyone you love them more often, hug them more often and make the time for the people that will make that same time for you.
You’ll do great, try a bit harder in school though. You might up end up lucky in a career but get your fucking grades so going back to education isn’t so hard. Also don’t bleach your hair so much, it ruined it for a decade. Lastly, be who I know you to be. Fierce, smart, kind, eager, funny, compassionate and much more. Always keep the attitude you’ve had of everyone deserving the same, because it’s never a bad thing to help those in need of it, you never know - you might need the help one day!
You’ve got this, I’ve got this, we’ve got this.
Love you, Me